


Boarding school sucks when you hate everybody instantly

by 7catsinatrenchcoat



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Boarding School AU, Gen, Other, and dave just rolls with it bc thats dave, eridan is a bitter angry boy for very little reason
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-16
Updated: 2017-05-16
Packaged: 2018-11-01 10:55:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10920393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/7catsinatrenchcoat/pseuds/7catsinatrenchcoat
Summary: Eridan Ampora figures out his new roommate is the shades-wearing douche he saw earlier. Fantastic.





	Boarding school sucks when you hate everybody instantly

The first moment you swept into the room, you felt his eyes latch onto you. Felt, considering that they were hidden behind a ridiculous-looking pair of dark shades that he had absolutely no right to wear indoors. What a douche. Was he not aware that this was a school of prestige? Your expression soured instantly, though his didn’t change at all. You cast a dark look over the boy, and continued to lug your bags towards the dorm rooms. The wheels of your trolley bag rattled - _cl-cl-clack-clach-cl-cl-clack_ \- over the bricks that separated the entrance of the boarding building from the dorms behind it, and the noise only set your mood further into a deep spiral. That that moment, everything was deeply, intensely irritating.   
  
There was a moment of joy as your entered the dorm building assigned to you for that term when you realized you were the first to arrive. You scanned over the beds, where they were, what drawers were beside them. Most importantly, you scanned over the mattresses, trying to make up your mind over which one you’d swap to the bed of your choosing. You set to work, not quite _smiling_ , but most certainly a lot nicer-looking than you had been on entry to the room. Your good mood came to a shuddering halt, however, when you realized you had no idea who you would be rooming with. When you, looking back, realized that Douche McShades still had his bags on the couch beside him in the entry building. _It’s fine,_ you reassured yourself in a completely nonreassuring away, _It’s not like you’ll_ actually _be stuck with him. You’re fine._ A pause. _Oh fuck I’m gonna be stuck with him aren’t I, holy shit I can’t live with another insufferable piece of crap again my life is gonna be blown into miserable little pieces. Fuck._ A You continued to work at your dorm room’s rearrangement, but your movements became a hell of a lot more jerky after your sudden insight at life.   
  
As predicted, the boy kicked your door open, bags hanging off his frame like coats on a rack.   
“Oh hey,” He says, as though he wasn’t fully aware of your intense hatred for him already, “It’s you. The cape weirdo.” Your elbow whacks into the bedside table as you yank sheets up a hint too quickly, and you curse instantly, glaring at the new member of your school as though it were his fault. It was, of course. Asshole.   
“You shouldn’t be wearing shades indoors. This is a distinguished school, and people like you bring down our good name,” You mutter, movements a hint slower in effort to prevent any more elbow-pain. “How the hell did you even get in, anyway?”   
  
There’s a thick silence, something you might have enjoyed if it didn’t feel so _directed._ Like he’s staring at your back and picking you apart at the seams. Like he’s trying to make you feel like shit for saying that - you don’t feel like shit. No. You really don’t. The silences goes on for nearly too long, and you’re just about to say something when -   
“They let me in because I’m just that great. People see me walking down the street and they fall to their knees and begin to beg me to rub one of my glorious sweaty palms over their upturned faces in hopes that they might be able to become a fraction as cool just by skin contact. And maybe by licking some of the sweat,” You groan, mostly inwardly, and rub the heel of one hand against your forehead. Fuckin’ great, he’s _talkative._ “Obviously dorks like you make this school so very unrad and they want me here to boost it’s popularity because I’m sick as fuck.”   
“Sick in the head, maybe,” You grumble, kicking your bag out from your bed a little further so you can start to unpack it. There’s a long while before you, very begrudgingly, continue the hellish conversation. “What’s your name?”   
There’s a pause, as though the boy isn’t certain, and _fuck_ you wish you had one of your rifles with you so you just just drive it up his fucking nose.   
“Strider. Dave Strider.” You groan, mostly externally. Jesus Christ. You’re not sure if you hear it right, but you _think_ he gives a faint, near-silent chuckle at your pain. Asshole. “I guess your name’s not really Purplecape Dickhead, but I’m probably going to keep thinking of you as that anyway.”   
“You will call me Eridan Ampora or I will fuckin’ kill you in your sleep, Strider.” It comes out as a growl, and you’re fairly impressed with yourself until you hear him give a poorly-contained snort.   
“Fuck man, comin’ at me with the threats already. I thought we were gonna have somethin’ really special. Dude. You hurt my soul. Eri, babes, please, we can work through this.” You hear the sound of him struggling with his bag’s zipper and you feel immensely grateful at the universe for making him suffer, even if in such a small way.   
“ _Die._ ” He gives a mock gasp, as though you wounded him deeply, and goes off on some bullshit flowery speech that you ignore entirely.   
  
You practically throw your clothes into your drawers, and you slam your alarm clock, picture frames and books onto the drawer’s top and the bedside table with almost alarming force. He’s rustling with whatever shitty item’s he’s brought with him as you gather up your now-empty bags and carry them out of the room. Just before you exit, you allow yourself one look over his side of the room. He catches your gaze, and slides those insufferable shades down his nose, winking at you with freakish red eyes. You give him a scowl and exit, glad for the excuse to get out of the room. How you’ll manage an entire term, or god-forbid, an entire _year_ with him you don’t know. You feel a sense of dread  for the days to come as you head to dump off the empty bags in storage. A part of you is already invested in figuring out the bastard, though,  if only so you can get under his skin.

**Author's Note:**

> As someone who Goes To A Boarding School:tm:, i get very entertained when writing boarding school AUs. I may or may not have an entire plan that i want to work on but never will.  
> Also Eridan is a bitter, bitter boy that i make hate people irrationally and I love it thank you.


End file.
